Twenty Six

Yesterday, I became more than a quarter-century old. While some around me say that that’s still young (which I don’t deny, since it’s comparative), I still feel old when I struggle out of bed in the morning and stumble toward the cup of coffee my husband’s already made.

Twenty six.

Wow. A decade ago, I would never have imagined that I would be here, now, doing the things I do day after day. Learning the things I’m learning and struggling with the things I struggle with.

But I thought, hey. In a year, I’d like to look back and see how far I’ve come. So here is a list of a few things, organized a little, goals, thoughts, ideas and struggles.

Goals:

  1. Write. (Yep, at least this hasn’t changed.) I’d like to write more, this winter, this fall. I’d like to write {Project} before I’m too busy again to dream about it.
  2. Mercy. This is a lesson that I’ve been learning this summer. This word has been heavy on my heart and mind. Mercy. Be Merciful. It’s not about God’s mercy that I’ve been focusing, but on my own lack of it. I want to be more merciful.
  3. Kindness. My husband prayed a few weeks ago (or yesterday, or maybe back in May, I really have no idea) that we would have kind hearts the coming week. That resonated in my soul and continues to resonate. I’ve been… well, I’ve been tired this summer and it’s been so easy to turn away and not listen to a little child trying to tell a story, or not anticipate that need a guest has, or not make a relationship with a staff member because well, they’re going to leave in a few weeks anyway and so is it really worth it?
    My heart got a little calloused. I want this coming year to be characterized by kindness.
  4. Perspective. It’s hard to work 6:30am-8:00pm. It’s hard to be surrounded by strangers who I’m serving. It’s hard to do both of those things as an INFJ. When I stumble upstairs during a morning break and see the dishes on my counter and the mail strewn on my desk, it’s hard to have perspective and not just get depressed at how I’m failing. What matters is not a perfectly clean house, or a constant stream of clean clothing, or that I manage to empty my inbox each day. I’m learning.

Blessings:

  1. My caring, helpful, supporting, sweet husband, who, with kind words, helps me bring everything back into perspective.
  2. A cozy home (even if I can’t manage to keep it clean)
  3. My sister in law is also my dearest friend.
  4. I live in the most beautiful place on earth.
  5. 112016_222

Where I Thought I’d be:

My old plans were vague and look funny now, in retrospect.

I thought I’d have a couple kids, at 26. I thought I’d certainly have more books written and published, and maybe have a bustling editing career.

I never thought I’d be this happy. I never thought I’d be this challenged. I never thought that I wouldn’t be published again yet. I never thought I’d live in Colorado with my best friend-husband. I never thought I’d be studying to become a sommelier.

God’s plans are different than ours.

I like His better.

 

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8 thoughts on “Twenty Six

  1. When we were teenagers, birthdays were for partying and having fun. And as we grow up we analyse our lives and goals. I turned 20 and wrote down some goals for this decade of my life. It was nice reading your goals. Hope you achieve all these things! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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