The Book Sacrifice Tag

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I’ve actually never done a book tag before (but there’s a first time for everything, right?). I wasn’t tagged in this one, but a few of my friends were, so I thought I could just piggyback on it.

#1: An Over-Hyped Book
Situation: You are in a bookstore when the zombies attack. Over the loudspeakers, you hear the military announce that over-hyped books are the zombies’ only weakness. What over-hyped book will you chuck at the zombies?

First of all, this is a hilarious premise. Zombies are weakened by over-hyped books? Ha. We could throw basically any celebrity autobiography or biography at them and be done with it all.
That said, I haven’t read any celebrity autobiographies.

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Eragon. Honestly, so many people love this book and I could not finish it. It was so poorly written (I know how that goes, having been a teen author myself, but still). I just- no. I’d throw Eragon at them. Maybe someday I’ll be more forgiving, but wow. Have you read that introductory chapter?
#2: A Sequel
Situation: You are caught in a torrential downpour and you’re probably the type who melts when you get wet. What sequel are you willing to use as an umbrella to protect yourself?

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What? Why do I melt? And if I was the type to melt, you’d bet your britches I’d have an umbrella on me at all times. I actually own a really cool umbrella that has a crusader sword for the handle. And if I could take that anywhere with me, I would.

Sapphique. I truly loved Incarceron, but Sapphique lost the flair and beauty of its predecessor. It was still beautiful, but I really believe that Catherine Fisher should have stopped with just one book in this world.

Also, People of Sparks. I was so disappointed with this book.

#3: A Classic
Situation: You’re in English class and your professor won’t stop going on about a classic that “revolutionized literature”. Personally, you think the classic is garbage and you decide to express your opinion by hurling the book at his head. What classic is that?

I can imagine no situation where I’d throw a book at a professor. Ever. I even had to read this ridiculously awful book called The King of Texas in my Advanced Literature class in college and I never threw that even at my teacher’s head. I never even wrote in that book, though it needed the ink of a thousand red pens, wielded mercilessly and deftly.

So…. classic. Hm.

Nope, I love classics. I can’t think of a single one.

#4: A Least Favorite Book
Situation: You’re hanging out at a bookstore (where else would you be?) when global warming somehow manages to turn the whole world into a frozen wasteland. Naturally, your only hope of survival is to burn a book. Which book would you not regret tossing into the fire?

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But I live in a frozen wasteland– and what happened to the heating? This makes no sense.

The Selection. I normally stick things out and read a book to the end (unless it’s really long, like Eragon), but I read maybe half of this one before I quit. It was so inanely awful. So awful.

The Book of Lost Things. This book was extremely creepy and extremely dark.

#5: A Series
Situation: There’s a flooded stream you have to cross on your quest and you can’t get your feet wet. Which series (oh yeah, btw, you brought your whole bookshelf and also probably local library with you) will you use as stepping stones?

Weirdly enough, I can’t imagine hauling around an entire library on a quest. Okay, maybe Hermoine did it, but I don’t have a magic bag and a shelf is heavy. Plus, I wouldn’t bring books I wouldn’t want to read. Wow.
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That said, Infernal Devices. Hands down. They’re so poorly done- and so on-the-edge-with-demons that I didn’t feel comfortable with them. Plus they’re poorly done. They sound so cool, but I just couldn’t read them.
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